Friday, June 20, 2008
Who am I?
As I sit her trying to define myself. Trying to explain to you who I am. And I realize.
I am nobody, Yet, I am somebody’s wife, mother, sister, and somebody’s daughter.
There are times when I feel so weak. But deep in my soul I know I am a strong woman.
From as far back as I can remember I was given the hard road to travel.
For some reason I have always felt as though I have an old soul.
I married my first true love at 19 years old.
We met when I was 19.
And right away I just knew he was the man I was supposed to spend the rest of my life with.
I am a military wife; I have been lonely as many nights as I have been held.
I have cried as many times as I have laughed.
Yet I can’t see myself ever loving anyone but him.
And I know he loves me just as much.
I have lived through every mother’s worst night mare.
When our son died. Yet, God has also given me the happiest days a mother could ever have.
When my children were born.
I have given my unconditional love and support to my children only to find they can’t seem to find a way returned the love I give.
I was the soul caregiver to my mother in law. And held her hand along as she passed on.
I spent every possible waking moment with my dying father. Only to find we still did not have enough time together.
I defeated cancer at age 26 by the grace of god. I dusted myself off and never looked back.
I walked away from an accident with a broken neck at age 28. But carried seizures with me for 13 years as a result of it. I have had people ask me. Do you ever ask God why you?
I just tell them I would never test fait like that. (LOL)
I have always believed and always will believe, God has a purpose for everyone.
I have also lived the last 2 years in uncontrollable pain. As I have prayed each and every day for God to find a way to stop the pain. I find doctors say I will lose my foot.
No I am still not saying why me. But the way things are going I can’t help but wonder.